On Hoarding and Having Too Much

I believe this one was spawned from a response to a friend of mine who makes and collects things on the internet. He was talking openly about struggling with keeping things that probably should have just been thrown out. Especially hoarding parts and pieces of old things because "it could be useful someday". That started a whole conversation and, as this is something that I have struggled with for a long time, I felt I had some insight. From that conversation came this reply of mine:

This might literally be my life's biggest struggle and I don't even make that much stuff I've mostly just had a series of jobs where old parts or other "trash" was still too interesting to me and I've had to keep it. I can barely get into my extra deep and wide 2 car garage. Why? I have TOO MUCH stuff. Part of my personal problem with most of the ¹suggestions here (and others that I have gotten) are that they seem to be made by people who don't understand what it's like living with this kind of mental "illness".

I have pretty intense ADHD and one of the manifestations is hardcore executive dysfunction. I know that I shouldn't keep the stuff, I know that I should get rid of it, I simply cannot. It's SO hard for me. It's getting to the point that the sheer amount of stuff in my house and garage has become a contributing factor in my 5+ year battle with depression. Intellectually I know that I will feel better if I get rid of some of the stuff but it is really really hard for me. 

I share all of that  to say this, you are not alone. I see you. And I would like to share with you some of the things that have worked for me in my battle:

First having/getting some accountability for myself and the stuff. This one worked for me because most of my problem was bringing in stuff to the system, not just keeping my scraps. (I can elaborate if anyone wants more info) The next thing is I try my damnedest not to be TOO precious about keeping it. Like actually letting myself USE the stuff. It sounds trivial but the moment I actually get to use that thing I've been hanging on to for YEARS makes me feel so good it gives me the motivation to find other places to use the stuff. (This could quickly turn into vindication for the hoarding and spiral badly but it works for me).

Next is a similar catharsis I've found to using the stuff is finding someone else who will use it and giving it away. For a long time I was holding on to a TON of small electronic components and pieces. I've never once built a single electronics project. I asked around and found some fellow makers who DO make that kind of thing and literally shipped them an entire box of stuff. They were psyched to get it and I felt great that it went to a good home. 

Next specifically for wood, deciding in the moment of making the cutoff I often decide then and there if I'm going to save it or burn it. Most of my justification for one or the other is "can I make this scrap again FROM scrap I already have?" 3 inches of 2x4? I can cut this from the 11" piece I made earlier so I'll just burn this one. I love fire, probably too much, so burning the stuff is enough fun that I can consider it a good use of wood scraps. Also this mostly works for construction lumber. If I had a 3 inch chunk of Sapele or Purple Heart, you bet your bottom dollar I'm keeping that till the end of time…

Next has only really worked for me maybe twice but it's really good when it does, challenge yourself to make something out of only what you have laying around. Different from just using the scraps where and when you have opportunity. Go out with the express intent of just seeing what you can come up with using only "trash" even if it's just art or for fun and not something practical. If it turns out terrible then toss it out and don't try to recover your "investment" lol. 

Lastly (or the last thing I can think of at this point) is the final and hardest thing to do is just throw it away. I know I just talked earlier about how this is basically impossible but I have a method. I literally ask someone else to do it for me. My wife/my mother/a couple of good friends are all people I can call to help me. I will literally tell them that I need help letting go of stuff and they will do it for me. My one friend calls it "disappearing things" for me.

What I do is identify to that other person what I'm having trouble letting go of (or sometimes specifying what I absolutely want/need to keep) and then, this is the critical part; GTFO, get away, turn around, don't watch them do it. Just let that friend/wife/mother with no emotional attachment to the thing get rid of it. I think this mostly works for me because I also kind of struggle with object permanence so, if I can't see it or don't see it anymore that bond I have to it tends to goes away quickly. Very rarely this has backfired on me because I have sworn up and down that I have some specific part or piece and then I spend 20 minutes looking for it only to realize that it was "disappeared" 

Anyways if you struggle with this sort of thing then I hope this helps even a little bit. Stay strong brother (or sister) 👊

~ Corey

Footnotes

1. I believe this was referring to an article online about "how to stop hoarding" or something that was CLEARLY written by someone who has never struggled with this in their life ↩